Not perfect, just special.

Part 1 Blog Apr, 2018

You. Me. And this blog post.

This blog post has been long overdue, indefinitely postponed while looking for the perfect words, breathtaking sentence structures and never before seen imagery that would dazzle the audience. Every deadline was broken, over and over again, trying to put together the anatomy of a perfect blog post. The result? No blog post at all. For the words, nor the sentences, nor the images where ever perfect enough to be published. That’s usually how the quest for perfection ends, with a big empty space.

Shouldn’t we know better by know than to compare ourselves to unachievable standards and expectations? At least every fifth inspirational quote tells us that we’re enough, that we can do it and that the World just waits for us to show our real colors. Be free to be you! Yeah, that’s what the nicely designed typography with impeccable background images tells us, but what we’re being told and taught on an every day basis by the people around us (aka society) is quite another kind of narrative. And somehow this doesn’t include the image of us running freely through flower covered meadows with the wind in our hair. Nope!

Instead we’re presented “the box” kindly asking us “to nicely fit in”. You even get a whole set of manuals on how to fit in: “How to be the perfect daughter.”, “How to be the perfect girl.”, “How to be the perfect mom.”, “How to the perfect friend”, etc. The manual covers may get redesigned from time to time giving the illusion of change while the content actually stays the same.

 

The benchmarks are set without ever asking us what we think of it, what we want or what we expect. Of course, they always keep our best interests in mind. Rules often not even spoken out loud, just expected. A soft dogged pressure keeping us on “the right” path, leading us in “the right” direction. Perfect role models are build as lighthouses in the dark for us who get off course, trying to explore our own ways, blinding us with their bright light, making us question our decision to wander around. The perfect kid next door who never gets home covered in mud, the perfect A+ student always bringing flowers when visiting, the mom baking a low calorie yet tasty cake for her family, every day, etc. There’s no fun in standing alone in the dark while everybody else is gathered around the lighthouse. Of course we want to be a part of it, recognized and accepted. It’s one of the primary human needs.

This brings us back to this blog post and why it took so long to put it out there while trying to meet the metrics of perfection. The words were written, the sentences composed, the images retouched. All set. Blog post finished. And then you start reviewing it, just to make sure everything’s right (another word for perfect). You review it once, you review it twice. Tweak it here and there. Add this and that, and before you know it you start comparing your piece with everything you’ve ever read or seen. All of a sudden nothing looks right anymore. You start focusing on the right forms and norms loosing out of sight what you actually wanted to say, the feeling that made you sit down and write. And this can’t be measured by any metrics, the least according to perfect role models in our head. We know all this, but once the voices in your head start rolling, there’s no way back: this isn’t the perfect choice of word, that could have been written smoother, need a better allegory to get to the point, etc.

All you can think of at the moment is what others might say. Will they laugh over your imperfections, even ridicule you? Caught in an endless loop of doubts and over analyzing, upgraded by fear of rejection, instead of just hitting the “publish” button you go for the “select all” option followed by the “delete” button.

Once again you’re staring into an empty screen telling yourself that you can and will do it better next time. Better being just another word for perfect. While chasing the perfection myth we completely forget to be ourselves, scared that this “unique me” won’t stand the metrics of perfection, the metrics of society.

Yet, all it takes is being you. Not perfect, just special.A special message delivered in an imperfectly structured sentence. Not perfect, just special.

Like this blog post with its honest thoughts wrapped into imperfect sentence compositions. This time, Just Special will have to do.

Time to hit the “publish” button!

 

P.S. Hope you want mind the imperfect wording and sentences, as well as possible typing mistakes, for this blog post hasn’t undergone any revision for the sake of getting published.

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